Should I Cut My Grandkids’ Hair If My Daughter-in-Law Doesn’t?

As a grandparent, it’s natural to want the best for your grandchildren, including their appearance. However, when it comes to making decisions about their personal care, such as haircuts, it can be a sensitive issue. This is especially true if your daughter-in-law, their mother, has specific ideas about how she wants to raise her children. So, should you cut your grandkids’ hair if your daughter-in-law doesn’t? Let’s delve into this topic.

Understanding Boundaries

First and foremost, it’s important to understand and respect the boundaries set by your grandkids’ parents. They are the primary caregivers and have the final say in their children’s upbringing, including their personal care. If your daughter-in-law has chosen not to cut her children’s hair, there may be reasons behind this decision that you are not aware of. It could be a cultural belief, a personal preference, or even a medical reason. Therefore, it’s crucial to have an open and respectful conversation about this with her.

Communicating Your Concerns

If you’re genuinely concerned about your grandkids’ hair, it’s essential to communicate this to your daughter-in-law in a respectful and non-confrontational manner. Express your worries and ask her about her reasons for not cutting their hair. It’s possible that she has valid reasons that you hadn’t considered. Alternatively, she might not have realized that their hair is causing them discomfort or attracting negative attention.

Offering Assistance

If after discussing, you both agree that the children’s hair needs to be cut, you can offer your assistance. Perhaps you could accompany them to a professional hairdresser, or if you’re confident in your skills, you could offer to do it yourself. However, it’s important to ensure that this is a joint decision and that you have her full consent before proceeding.

Respecting Their Decision

Ultimately, if your daughter-in-law insists on not cutting her children’s hair, you should respect her decision. It’s her right as a parent to make such choices for her children. You may not agree with it, but it’s important to remember that every parent has their own parenting style, and what matters most is the children’s well-being. If the children are happy and healthy, then the length of their hair is a minor issue.


In conclusion, while it’s understandable that you might want to step in and cut your grandkids’ hair, it’s crucial to respect the boundaries set by their parents. Open communication, understanding, and respect are key in this situation. Remember, your role as a grandparent is to support, not to override the decisions made by the parents.